Stylishly Crushing: Unexpected Feels

Okay, so in the spirit of it being love month and what not, I’ll let you in on a teensy bit of my love life.

You ever told yourself you were going to stay single and just focus on yourself, and then someone comes along and completely changes those plans? Well, that’s currently me. I was not looking to be involved with anyone anytime soon, especially considering I broke up with my boyfriend back in September. But, “you wanna make God laugh” right? Right.

Anywho, I was minding my business, when all of a sudden this young man comes out of nowhere. I had been around him before, but I didn’t see him in that way AT ALLLLLLL. I didn’t even pick up on him flirting with me – so green of me. We had to be around each other frequently due to work we were doing. Then one day, it just hit me out of the blue....

Yall, I had a CRUSH on this man.

Have you ever had a crush before? Like, a school girl or school boy crush? Well, if you haven’t I’ll tell you what it feels like. It’s more intense than just liking someone. It’s that giddy, nervous excitement that makes you blush for no reason. Your mind replays the smallest moments—how they looked at you, what they said, even the way they laughed.

You catch yourself daydreaming, smiling at random times, and maybe even getting a little shy when they’re around. Everything about them just seems perfect, and even their little flaws feel adorable. It’s innocent, fun, and lowkey a little overwhelming—but in the best way.

So, yeah! That was me, and months later of us dating, I still feel the same. I told a friend of mine that “I’m completely enamored by this man.”

I like his smile, his mustache, his voice, how he dresses. I like that we share a love for art, music, and fashion. I admire his eye for things; he understands the importance of spectacle. I like how he introduces me to new experiences and the fact I feel I can learn from him. That’s something that is important to me when I’m dating.

If I don’t get the sense that I can learn something from a guy – or if I feel like I’m more advanced than them – then it won’t work. I like how he’s himself, on his own wave. And I love how he speaks to me. He’s so sweet and charming. He always says the right thing at the right time.

I like this man so much it scares me, y’all. I’m cautious because of how I feel. I’m so high up that if I get hurt, the fall would be so painful and soul-crushing. (Okay, that was dramatic af lol) I’ve never been scared of being hurt before. But this is so different from my past situations. Hell, I’m different. I haven’t felt this way about anyone before, and I for sure wasn’t expecting to get this deep.

EVERY time he texts me I’m blushing. It’s gotten to a point that my students know who I’m texting just by seeing the expression on my face. When we talk, I cannot stop smiling and laughing.

I love it here, man. I love how I’m calm when I’m with him. Even on our first date, I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I’d be. The vibes were top-tier, the conversation was great, and the food was good, too. I was enjoying myself so much that I didn’t want the night to end. The date was for 8 pm and I didn’t get home til after 4 in the morning 🫣.

It was giving movie scene fa sho!

I think about him all the time. A song will come on and then I’m reminded of something he said, something he did, or the moment we were together and said song was playing. There was also one week when I kept seeing his smile in my head. I’ll see a picture of him and my smile goes autopilot.

Shoot, I smiled the whole time writing this damn blog. Somebody come pick me up, man, ‘cause clearly, I’m SWV Weak in the knees.

Alright, alright. I’m done telling y’all my business this week. But tell me, have you ever been smitten like this before, or it’s just me?

Stylishly yours,

Azha Moné