Stylishly Romantic: A Lover Girl’s Take on Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Today is all about celebrating love in every form—romantic, platonic, and self-love included. And if there’s one thing about me, it’s that I love love! So, in the spirit of the holiday, I want to share what love means to me and dive into a question that always sparks debate this time of year: Should men receive Valentine’s Day gifts?

Ughhh!! I just love love. I love being in love. I love seeing love. I love showing love. I love relationships – the healthy ones. I love what comes out of love. Love, love, love, love, love!

What is love? Love may start out as a feeling, but after that it becomes a choice. Love is action. Love is sacrifice. Love is compromise. Love is selfless. Love is understanding. To know someone is to love them - it’s a cliche statement, but it’s true. When you reeeallyyyy understand someone, you know what floats their boat and what makes their boat sink. You’re able to love them how they need to be loved because you understand them.

Love is hard work, it’s not easy. Certain things may be easier for you to do because you love them, but real love is tested when things get difficult. How do you show up when your partner isn’t being easy to love? What do you do when it’s not that honeymoon phase anymore? Some relationships don’t last because people don’t love in the way they think or claim they do. They give up when it gets hard. They shut down when their partner is challenging them. Their foundation isn’t solid, so when the boat is rocky they’re ready to jump ship.

Love is humble. You can’t be prideful with the person you love. Sometimes you have to put your ego aside and be a simp as society would call it. Social media is a relationship’s worst enemy. If you and your partner aren’t solid, if you aren’t secure in what you have going on, you’ll be easily swayed by what you see and hear. I’m not going to get too deep into it, because I’ll be writing for days. But I’ll put it like this, a relationship is between two people – only you and them. So, communicate with your partner.

Love is communication. That’s why love languages are important. Love is endeavoring to understand your partner’s love language, and communicating with them in a way they understand. Loving them in a way that they can feel it. Think about how you feel when you come across someone who doesn’t speak the same language as you. It’s frustrating – like talking to a brick wall. But when you’re speaking to someone who does speak your language, the conversation is much smoother. You have to learn your partner’s language so your relationship is smoother. THAT is love.

Now, let’s get into this men should or shouldn’t receive gifts on Valentine’s Day.

Before I say anything I want to start off by saying DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Traditionally, Valentine’s Day has been geared towards women, but times are changing. Society is evolving, and more women are doing things for their man. I don’t see anything wrong with that tbh. Growing up I saw my dad getting gifts for my mom for Valentine’s Day – I didn’t see my mom getting my dad anything. I never thought anything of it. But as I got older and had my own relationships, I felt led to make my significant other feel just as loved as they made me feel. Like I said, I’m a huge lover girl. Every love language is my love language. I’ll do anything to make my partner feel seen, loved, special, understood, etc any chance I can. I treat others how I want to be treated. So, I do believe a man can receive a little something something on Valentine’s Day, too. It doesn’t have to be super extravagant – just something to show them you appreciate them for being them, for loving you – something thoughtful.

I always go all out for mine, whether it’s friends, family, or my significant other. I do the corny, cutesy stuff lol. One of my love languages is gifts. I loveeeeeee giving gifts – to put a smile on someone else’s face is top-tier. I know how I feel when I receive a thoughtful gift, so I enjoy making others feel the same. I put so much thought into my gifts. One of my favorite gifts I’ve ever given was a Valentine’s Day gift years ago. He wanted the Lost and Found Air Jordan Is but didn’t win the raffle, so I bought them from GOAT and I made a card that said, “I would be LOST without you, so glad we FOUND each other.” I also included the coordinates of where we first met. I’ll show you, lol. The look on his face when he opened his gift was everything!

Men don’t get many holidays where they are the focus. They just have Father’s Day, and maybe their birthday. I hate that for them. This is not to be a pick-me, it’s just how I feel. Probably because I’m a daddy’s girl. My father was my first best friend growing up, and my brother was my second. I’d do anything for them, and they’d do anything for me.

Growing up my father rarely told us no. He works hard to provide us with the lifestyle we’ve been living all these years – too hard if you ask me. He’s always there for us, even if he can’t physically be. I watch him make sacrifice after sacrifice to ensure that all of us are happy, comfortable, and successful. Doing so much for us, and so little for himself. Not once have I heard him complain. Whenever I think about all of that, I’m like, “Well damn.” So, whenever I get the chance, I show him I appreciate all that he’s done and is doing for me. Father’s Day, his birthday, Christmas, and sometimes on Valentine’s Day.

My brother has always been there for me. We’re six years apart, but you wouldn’t be able to tell even if you were to examine our bond through a magnifying glass. My brother is so talented, hard-working, and sweet. If you’ve ever had the opportunity to be graced with his presence, then you’re blessed and you know how special he is. I look at him and want nothing but the best. So, for him I know no limits because he deserves all that’s good in this world.

Having these two wonderful guys in my life, and also having a couple of male friends, I gain some understanding of what life is like for men. Everyone expects them to do everything and say nothing about it. Men aren’t allowed to express their feelings. They’re not allowed to go through things and be vulnerable. It’s very shut up and dribble if you get what I mean.

I’m glad I’m a woman. I get upset when I feel unappreciated as a woman, so I know being a man would be difficult for me. It would be emotionally taxing for me to provide for everyone, tend to my responsibilities, not be allowed to have bad days, and rarely be externally appreciated for all I do. And yes, women have their responsibilities and needs, but society has more empathy for women than they do for men. You often hear the saying, “You don’t applaud a fish for swimming.” I think that’s a flawed statement, because while there are things people SHOULD be doing, it shouldn’t take away from the fact that they are doing it. It feels good to be acknowledged for what you’re doing, whether you should be doing it or not. So, show the appreciation! Regardless of who it is, and regardless if it’s something they should be doing, because it could easily be the opposite.

How I feel about my father and my brother, and the kind of relationships I have with them have transcended into my romantic relationships. I think that’s why I do what I do for my significant other.

I say all this to say, men do allot for us and rarely are recognized for it. So, it wouldn’t hurt to make your man feel special on Valentine’s Day, too. How do you feel about men receiving gifts on Valentine's Day? What is love to you? Let’s talk in the comments!

Stylishly yours,

Azha Moné